Finding Hope in Troubling Times

In the weeks after the terrorist attacks five years ago, desperate for a way to cope with my anxiety and sadness, I started a journal. I wrote page after page of raw unpolished prose, recording my thoughts, feelings and fears. In the beginning I wrote of the constant heaviness, the oppressive force that pulled me down, down.

I couldn't stop thinking of all those lives so viciously wiped out, just ordinary people going to work, making a phone call, getting a cup of coffee, or a family going on a vacation, perhaps returning home. I couldn't stop thinking of all those who died trying to save others.

Later, I wrote of my weakness and shame. How could I - someone with no loved-one killed or injured - be so completely torn apart? Deep down, I knew that though I'd been spared in some ways, this was something that affected all of us. I think that now as I see what is happening in the world - the war in Iraq and the Middle East, the tragedy in Darfur, and other areas marked by death and despair, including places closer to home.Though these tragedies may not directly affect me, they too, touch all of us.

What struck me as I read through my journal entries, and what I remembered at the time, was the universality of my experience. When talking to family and friends and hearing reports from people I didn't know, I noticed we shared the same thoughts and worries, sometimes even using the same words to describe our feelings, talking of our disbelief about this new, changed world. What helped me then, as it does now, is to remember we are not alone. Other people are out there trying to cope, both with everyday problems and with tragic world events that are beyond our understanding.

About a month after the terrorist attacks I found myself in a parking lot sitting in my car, unable to move. I turned and saw an old man in the car next to mine. I wondered if his life experience had better prepared him to handle the enormity of what had happened. He must have been a young man during World War II, I thought. Perhaps he was a soldier. I wondered how living through that war affected him. Did he feel helpless? Was he afraid? Just knowing people got through that terrible time helped lessen my anxiety. For a brief moment I was strangely connected to the old man, and felt a faint glimmer of hope.

It helps to remember we are not alone, but we also need to believe that things will get better. In those dark days five years ago we were desperate for positive stories about the good side of humanity, about ordinary people doing brave things, about rescues against all odds, about strangers helping strangers. There was no shortage of such stories.

These days we are overwhelmed with disturbing reports. Though we may have to search for positive stories, we must find them. When we read about a Palestinian boy scout camp giving pins for promoting hate, we need to hear about Seeds of Peace, where Arab and Israeli teens come together to promote understanding. When we learn of anti-Semitic or anti-Arab attacks, we need to hear how local interfaith groups are bringing people together to foster acceptance and celebrate differences.

When we see the ongoing suffering of those hit by Hurricane Katrina, we need to hear about the extraordinary resilience of those who have recovered. We need to be inspired by people who refuse to accept the status quo, who are steadfast and optimistic even in the face of dire conditions. For it is in the worst of times that we most need to have hope.

(This column was originally published on townonline.com September, 2006)