Pardon Me While I Turn on Sports Talk

I did something the other week I thought I’d never do. Though far from outrageous, it was, for me, somewhat out of character. I watched “Pardon the Interruption” all by myself. Now for those non-obsessed sports fans who may not be familiar with it, “Pardon the Interruption,” or PTI as it is fondly called, is an ESPN sports talk show.

The show is a favorite of my son’s, one I’ve “watched” many times, glancing up every now and then from a book or newspaper. Though I’m no sports-talk connoisseur, I prefer it to “Around the Horn,” an irritatingly loud ESPN show that pits battling sports journalists against one another.

In my half-watching state, I’ve noticed some things about PTI that I have to admit I like. The rapport between Washington Post columnists-hosts Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon is fantastic. They are the national counterparts to our own Ken Berman and Jan Goldstein of Sharon cable SportsNuts fame. The format is lively, unique. The show is an interesting mix of run-downs, interviews, picks and pans. It keeps things going, with its varied format and clock ticking down the list of intriguing topics. They toss in an interview, take a brief break for ESPN sports news, and return for the finale, the “Big Finish,” a one minute sprint on ten topics, complete with lively music and a buzzer at the end. Even non-die-hard sports fans will agree this is a darn good show.

Though I’ve always enjoyed the bits I catch in between reading, the night I watched PTI solo was entirely accidental. I’d just returned from dropping my son and teammate off at basketball practice, had started dinner, and was looking to kill some time before heading back to pick them up. When I clicked on the television, ESPN came on. This is the case 99% of the time I turn on the TV. “Pardon the Interruption” was already in progress. I started to change the channel, but was overcome with an inexplicable desire to hear about sports stuff. I was completely pulled in by the hosts. These are two incredibly sharp, likeable guys who have interesting things to say. And though they often disagree, they do so in a way that is respectful, and most importantly, hugely entertaining.

On this particular night, the “rundown list” included topics such as Duke, Jets, Knicks, Goose, Penguins, McGwire and Vick. Though I wasn’t sure what Goose was all about, I thought it was funny how it came right before Penguins. I’ve been following the amazing year of Duke’s J.J. Redick, and I was curious what they had to say about McGwire. I’ve listened to my son ‘talk sports’ enough to know that Michael Vick’s younger brother has gotten into a heap of trouble, being kicked off Virginia Tech’s football team for viciously stepping on a player’s leg, and recently being caught brandishing a handgun. Curious, I watched and listed as Tony and Michael went down the list.

The first interview that night was with Carolina Panther Steve Smith, who responded to the trash-talk directed at him from a Bears player. Though Smith’s name was somewhat familiar to me, I couldn’t have placed his team, and I’d not heard about the trash-talk incident. There was, though, something amusing about it all, with the headline “Do Pros Care About Yapping?” listed at the bottom of the screen, and talk about being “dissed and disrespected.”

From what I could see, this Steve Smith guy handled himself like a pro, refusing to give in to requests to yap back at the Bears, even when the hosts promised to put Smith’s picture on the station wall in exchange for a nasty comeback. Smith then described his favorite end zone celebrations, including the snow-less snow angel, baby-wiping the football, and the Mr. September, so-called due to his provocative laying-down-on-his-side-in-the-end-zone pose. Yes this is mindless, meaningless, not-important-to-the-world stuff. But it sure is entertaining.

The hosts then moved into a role play, where each took turns holding a photograph-mask in front of his face, pretending to be, among other players, Sean Taylor (the Redskin who was ejected from a playoff game for spitting at an opponent) and Mark McGwire, responding to questions about whether his possible, but unproven, steroid use would keep him out of the Hall of Fame.

They cut away to ESPN for a quick sports update before returning for another interview, this time with Boomer Esiason—I’d surely heard of him—who relayed his playoff picks, as well as “key players” and “X-factors” (i.e. crowd noise, turnovers, rainy Seattle weather) that would likely contribute to game outcomes.

At this point, I was anxiously eyeing the clock. I knew it was time for me to return to my carpool duty, but I really didn’t want to miss the end of the show when the hosts take exactly one minute giving quick opinions on a long list of topics. It didn’t seem possible they’d make it through all of them, but as always they did. These guys are amazing. As soon as the buzzer sounded, I grabbed my coat and headed out the door.

I got there in the nick of time, pulling up just as my son and his friend were walking out of the gym. Somehow, though, I think I’d be forgiven if I’d been a few minutes late. My son, of course, would certainly understand my desperate need to watch the “Big Finish” right to the very end.

(This column was originally published on townonline.com January, 2006)